“He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” This site continues my journey from fear to Faith in a way that His will is done while my intentions and plans still churn in my head. His plans become public on a platform I have not wished or asked for while my plans remain on hiatus. Thank God for having plans because there is always something exciting to look forward to.
I am not upset at the detour but humbled in my weakness that He would confiscate me from my shell to be used when I think ” what about so and so, they like to talk, they like to be heard, they like to be seen.” I like to be seen, who doesn’t want to be recognized, but not heard by many, and only to share with a few. We like to think that what has happened to us is private when it’s happened to a lot of us just in varying degrees. I am here to share my story and the stories of other women and how God has moved in our lives.
Honestly, I never liked poetry because people hid behind their floweriness so I couldn’t understand a darn thing they said with the metaphors that kept their secrets. It was during a period of fasting and prayer where God revealed my gift of poetry. If it had not been for my obedience I wouldn’t be sharing with you today. I had no distraction. I could journal my thoughts and feelings, write down my desires, map out my plans, pray, build my confidence, listen to Godly direction, and just be still. Sometimes the imposition of TV, social media, phone calls, social outings, don’t allow us to be still long enough to figure out our next step. Whatever I thought I was missing I wasn’t. I had Netflix and scheduled TV recordings to catch up on my programs. Social media wasn’t anything I couldn’t live without for a bit, another birthday, wedding, profile update, sale item, and no major news reports.
God has gifted me with the ability to write. I HAD DECIDED that I was going to write poetry and publish it and that would be it because I wasn’t really into poetry. However, in Gen 21:6, like Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” God gets the last laugh as I heard his voice say that the good news simply can’t be bound in a book it must be spoken out loud and I choose you. And exactly why would I want to share my testimony and anyone else’s? Is it worth it? Will anyone care? Relate ? Respond? Rejoice? God knows the answer. I arrived here today by stepping out on faith. Whether fearless or with fear I am here as a Christian spoken word artist. Why Christian? Because my power and passion for this purpose is about people knowing the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, and that Salvation is available thru Jesus Christ.
As children we often have traumatizing situations that occur in our life that impact how we behave as adults. We may not realize the impact until someone close to us points it out or we decide to dig deep to find the root cause of certain behaviors and habits. Every fear has a beginning that transforms and culminates into a reality in our minds.I always felt the need to be overly protected in my own dwelling, to control everything, to prevent anything bad from happening, to make friends with everyone who crossed my path so I wouldn’t have to be uncomfortable, and I could dream a Lifetime movie of horrifying events. I should have an Oscar by now for Best Producer of Mystery Thrillers.
Prayer and meditating on the word of God has set me free. Once that fear was set free I could sleep at night and not worry about a break in. I noticed that things that used to bother me didn’t anymore. I had more time in my day just because I didn’t rush thru my day. I stopped seeing interruptions as a ruin to my day. But I had to put in the work. I hid scriptures in my heart, I talked back to the devil, I prayed to the Lord, I picked myself up and began to move. In doing so I left some people behind, I felt alone at times, but on the inside I was smiling about what was going to happen in my life. Below is an excerpt from my poem:
“….I am moving from fear to faith to a fountain of water that drips tears from the eyes of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane where he cries “not my will but your will be done”. The sin of doubt must be stamped out like a cancelled check so the devil can no longer bounce us around and overdraft us from the account of a guilty conscience.”
You can’t hurt me anymore because I’ve climbed out from under a rock and hiked to the mountain
You can’t hurt me anymore because my tongue is like fire, my pen like an arrow, and my words like a blade
You can’t hurt me anymore because I’m prayed up for battle if you want a Holy Ghost war
You can’t hurt me anymore because I have converted ‘demonality’ into God’s purposed reality and devil, your permission slip has expired and I am releasing your stronghold day by day, by letter, by word, by phrase, by sentence, by paragraph, by page, by poem.
Jamillah a.k.a. Lady Wisdom
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